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The Modern Mystery School and the cult issue which does not seem to be going away!
Bravo to you cuddlesbear for leaving. They teach that everyday human emotions like compassion for a family member in trouble are an obstacle to the “great work” so there’s a lovely irony there. I got out years ago (I was kicked out as a scapegoat, an old trick evidently used for eons by priests, generals, corporates and self-styled magicians …
All of which fit Gudni to a tee now that I think about it. It is supposed to reduce the politics and bullshit in the ranks and so unifies the masses for whatever said leader wants to get up to.) I mention that as a disclaimer when I say it’s been fully seven years this month and I can confidently say I am over it. It took a long time but I’m fully back in my skin and loving life. It was so difficult on so many levels but fundamentally, I no longer hold any more strange beliefs such as I am a kumara from RA (they convinced me of this even tho I never, ever wanted to believe it …) And that someone else, in fact my scapegoater in cape town called leona, is archangel michael!!! She’s a feisty recruiter and was causing shit so my removal settled her and her circle down (as another aside, I see she’s been demoted as country CEO and for anyone who doesn’t know my country well, you may be interested to learn that the new ceo lives in the city of gold, where there is far far far more money-making potential for GG than die visdorp). The main thing is that I no longer believe these things and so my life has settled down. Everyone who goes down the garden path with that cult is affected on some level by the “I am chosen for this and I am special” vibe because that’s what’s you’re beefed up with. I certainly had the hook implanted deep down because I knew no better. In fact I desperately needed validation about my worth but come on !!! Instead I lit the little match girl’s second-last last match. Now… my life is not perfect, but I have a cute home in a beautiful place but some days I get demotivated with the business I have started and I like to lie in bed and read all day. Sometimes I gossip with the locals and then I feel a little guilty. Sometimes I shop too much and sometimes I eat too much. Sometimes I binge watch Hart of Dixie. In short, I am normal. But mostly I am an integrated, happy, healthy person who takes long walks on the beach and sometimes goes to evansong and has no strange beliefs. I have some great friends I’m grateful for and I’m pretty good at not placing expectations on them. Life is tough, imperfect and beautiful, just like me … Just the way it’s meant to be. Sometimes, years back, I used to delude myself that I was going through some kind of advanced initiation outside the regular “paths” within the school because I so wanted to be a part of it. Now that I’m recovered I know I have simply managed to integrate some real parts of myself, which was precisely why I joined in the first place but no thanks to them. Before I could get to my own stuff that was surfacing a full 10 years ago, I had to confront, allow and feel my way through all their scary bullshit. But I no longer (hardly ever) have PT episodes where I think evil aliens are down at the pub when really there’s just wackos down at the pub. All that has wasted years but oh well, what can you do. It’s like another girl once said… she got involved with some weird spiritual shit and eventually she managed to “close the doors to her mind that had been opened due to her irresponsible activities” thanks to help from some support. Now she’s happy with the simple things in life, sitting in the sun on the veranda, a job at a shop. I can relate to that. I see, cuddlesbear, you still u use the term “know thyself”, which u will become aware is cult indoctrination as u go forward. Soon you’ll find yourself saying, I’m cool man, I’m good. Know thyself, my ass. All that flowery language will fall by the wayside and you’ll have relief. Ironically, at the dialogue ireland site I learned the only constructive lesson of the whole palavar. I learned how cults work and how any group of three can exhibit cultish tendencies (think Heathers) and how all groups, church, work, clubs etc., exhibit these effects to some extent or another. This revelation was a giant step for me because I now know the roles I used to play in disfuntional groups and while I have an active social life I know how to avoid serious cult energy pronto without compromising my interests. This knowledge has been life-changing for me. Thanks Dialogue Ireland. And in fact, interchange with DI allowed the penny to drop on another matter. I never had a great relationship with my dad and after I stopped being so terrified of stuff from MS I realised that gudni had put another nail in the “I don’t trust men” coffin. After MS I used to seek out intelligent men who were interested in engaging with my unique experience and scintillating prose and I would set them up to dump all my rage and fury at Gudni on. I didn’t know I was doing this but because he shut me off (thank u God! ) that’s exactly what I was doing. I did this to someone here, but soon afterwards I got in touch with some of my real feelings around my betrayal complex with daddio, which after all led me to the Grand Betrayer in the first place. Sorry DI, I realise now I did it to you, to Basil Wilby (aka Gareth Knight, who also helped me a lot, advising me right at the get-go to have nothing more to do with the group ever), a high lama and to a chief rabbi. So you’re in good company although I must say they all cut me off well before you… But it was your continued engagement for a little longer that allowed my dysfunctional pattern to surface in my consciousness because I was quite horrified with myself after all that. I’ve processed a lot of that now. I’ve even met someone now, a calm, conservation-scientist type who taps into another side of my personality and is actually available, not a celibate on the other side of the world, for example, tho we’re taking it slow, (very scary for me because of course Gudni said to me, I am never allowed to have sex again because I am the bride of Christ and the keeper of the grail. YES!). You helped and I love free therapy so thanks! Anyway, I suppose I’m not entirely over things because this news out of iraq is affecting me now and I have to work (for money) with that material. I even went to Gudni’s Facebook feed and I see he is teaching a course on “meta-medicine” of the future and of course making money from it, while there are disgusting photos of him getting his teeth capped and also modern medicine scans from something or another that ails him, from the best hospital in Tokyo no doubt. Modern medicine for me, meta-medicine for you! No shame indeed. Whenever I go to Gudni’s feed I see the guy’s nuttier by the day, which is also good therapy… especially since I hardly ever do it any more. These freaky caliphate people… Like Hitler of course, FACT because of their extremist cultic religious underpinnings, are stirring up weird mystery school beliefs in me again, but I keep reminding myself that all manipulative leaders (I think I read this in the context of putin and his domestic media manipulation of the Russian people) use a combination of truth, lies and outlandish stories. Gudni is the master indeed!!! Anyway, Cuddlesbear, u keep cuddling your very own self and I send my prayers to your family member too for spontaneous enlightenment and a quick walk to one of those venue exit signs. S
Filed under: The Modern Mystery School |